Final Project 1: Analysis of Student Writing and Lesson Plan

Project number 1: Analysis of Jack*’s Writing and Lesson Plan

* pseudonym 

Analysis

I based this analysis on two of Jack’s writing samples, my informal reading conference notes, the results from the spelling inventory, and our conversation about writing.

Ownership and Meaning of the Piece

Jack told me that he does not enjoy writing.  He mentioned that his teacher makes him write in cursive form because she cannot read his printing.  I have a feeling that he may not enjoy the mechanics of writing, but he does seem to enjoy making up stories.  He became very animated, using excited facial expressions when he talked about the story he wrote using his pet hamster as inspiration.   

Jack’s story is about “the day all anamals* could talk” (though Hami* is the only animal mentioned in the story).  His story is written in first person.  Jack wakes up one day to find his hamster, Hammy, out of his cage.  Hammy jumps and runs around the house, while Jack wonders if he is hallucinating when he hears Hammy speak.  Hammy says, “Bombs away!” and “I love this house!” while Jack goes around the house doing average everyday things. At the end of the story Hammy says, “Do you want to pinkie wrestle?” and she is put back in her cage.

* original spelling preserved  

Six Traits assessment system

Ideas
Jack is beginning to define the topic and has attempted to flesh out key ideas in his story line.  His story boasts that it was “the day that all animals could talk,” but the only animal mentioned in the story is the hamster.  The reader is left with questions about what the hamster might be thinking (other than the fact that Hammy “loves this house”).
Organization

It is evident in this draft that Jack is working on organization, but at this stage (and the “messiness” of the draft) I am having a hard time telling where his transitions are.  There is only one note made for an indentation, so I am not able to tell for sure where new paragraphs would begin.  The story is lacking a title, but I can tell that Jack is working toward order and transitions by adding words like “then,” and “soon.” 

Voice and Word Choice

Jack seems aware of a purpose and attempts to select content that reflects it by having the hamster talk, but lacks refinement of word choice, using words verbs such as dirty, clean, cotton, dull, and stupid, as though they were the first words that popped into his head.  His writing is sincere, but does not reflect a unique or individual perspective on the topic.  The hamster runs around the house and jumps on the narrators back but other than saying, "I love this house," doesn't reflect a unique perspective on the topic.

Sentence Fluency

A large portion of the text is choppy and awkward.  The only transitional words he uses are after, soon, and then.  Though he does use some variety eleven out of the thirty sentences begin with “I.” 

Conventions

This most distracting thing about this piece is in regards to grammar.  Problems with grammar and usage are not serious enough to distort meaning, but are not accurately applied all of the time.  Jack does not stay consistent when mentioning Hammy, referring to the hamster as both he and she throughout the story. Jack also uses her in place of she several times.  Moderate editing, and detail stretching are needed for publication.

Spelling

Jack is very confident with his spelling abilities.  He only misspelled two words on the Error Guide Inventory 1 worksheet (civilise/civilize and opisition/opposition), putting him at the early to middle intermediate stage in reading and writing.   Jack reads fluently (and very fast!) and he's beginning to read with expression.  His vocabulary seems to be growing with experience in reading.  When I  asked Jack if he knew what it meant to infer something he asked, "Do you mean like reading between the lines?" He is a very bright student. Jack has recently shown interest in reading different styles and genres. He only has four spelling errors in the draft I have (some errors are repeated throughout the story), and some spelling errors had already been corrected (halusinating/hallucinating and thougght/thought). 

Lesson Plan

Objectives

Student will apply writing conventions appropriately, use word function properly, and indenting paragraphs when necessary.   

Standards

EALR :1.  The student understands and uses a writing process.

Component: 1.4.  Edits text.

1.4.1. Applies understanding of editing appropriate for grade level.

EALR 3.  The student writes clearly and effectively.

Component 3:3.  Knows and applies writing conventions appropriate for the grade level.

3.3.5. Applies usage rules.

3.3.7 Applies paragraph conventions.

Materials

Two unedited paragraphs to show on projector

Copies of unedited paragraph for students to edit

Lined paper and pencil to write out new edited paragraph

Instructional strategies

Our overview is to have Jack learn how to begin new paragraphs and know when to transition to the next paragraph, check for grammar errors, spelling errors and to detect whether the paragraph is interesting enough to keep readers engaged.  Our demonstrations will include not only the how, but the why as well so the students will be able to transfer the skills to broaden meaning for them (Routman,  147).  We will also be pointing out how writing takes time and will include rereading and rethinking throughout the process in order be sure that your piece conveys what is intended and is clear and engaging to the reader (Routman, 148).  We will be doing this lesson as a way to frontload.  Doing this before expecting our students to write in the future will ensure that they understand our expectations, the task they will be assigned, and so that they will be prepared to succeed at this, and future, writing assignments (Routman, 220-221).

Teacher will begin by showing students an unedited, one-page paper on the projector. Using the “I do, we do, you do” strategy, instruction will begin by explaining the process of a properly written paragraph.

The teacher explains that a properly edited paper is organized with each paragraph having a topic sentence, 2-3 supporting sentences that focus on the main idea, has a closing sentence and that the paragraph is interesting.

The teacher continues editing the paper shown on the projector showing the class where a new paragraph should begin, by looking for the topic sentence. The teacher inserts the paragraph symbol where necessary, and instructs students to add the symbol to their paper as well. The teacher will think out loud searching for the next topic sentence, asking for student feedback.  When it appears that all students understand how to separate paragraphs they will be instructed to work independently at their desks to finish editing the paper until all necessary sections have been marked with the paragraph symbol. The teacher will then bring the class back together and they will talk about where the paragraphs should be separated.

At this time the teacher will begin making a wall chart with the common editing symbols the class will be using.  As the teacher introduces each symbol she will write the symbol, along with it's purpose, on the wall chart for children to refer to during the "we do" and the "you do" phases of this (and future) assignment(s).  

The teacher will perform the same tasks as illustrated above, one task at a time, until the paper has been completely edited.  The following tasks will entail determining whether the supporting ideas are interesting, if not, the teacher (and students) will insert adjectives to make the sentence(s) more interesting.  Spelling, grammar, and punctuation will also be corrected.   (This lesson will take place over several days).

Finally, the teacher will show another un-edited paper on the projector and ask the class to work together to make the corrections. The teacher could give hints such as, “Oh, I see we have four mistakes in this paragraph” or “I see that the pet in the story is referred to as he, and as she – does that make sense?” or “What adjective could we use to describe this word and make the sentence more interesting?”

Once the entire class correctly edits the paragraph, the teacher will give each student his or her unedited paper to correct on their own. They are to correctly re-write this paragraph on their lined notebook paper to turn it in for assessment.

Assessment:

The teacher will be able to assess each student’s final edited paper, looking for paragraph organization, correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

Works Cited

Routman, R. (2005). Writing Essentials: Raising Expectations and Results While Simplifying Teaching. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.